Desperate Plea: I Want to be Used by God
I fell on my knees on the kitchen floor while washing the dishes after the petty argument. My tears dropped like rain drops as I poured out myself to God. I shook my head pleading to the LORD:
I don’t want to live life this way anymore, please! Please clean my heart! Take this darkness out of me. I don’t want to be like everyone else. I don’t want to live like them! Clean my heart and make me new. Revive my heart, I will not run away from your purpose in me anymore. Give me strength like the eagles. This time I will not fly away. Do something radical in me! Do something radical with my life! I won’t be afraid anymore.
I don’t, I don’t want to live a natural live anymore! I want to be more, show me, show me! You say, ‘Call to me and I will answer you and show you great and mighty things you do not know nor understand.’ Then become more real to me, show yourself true in my life! Come to me again! Be faithful to your word. I want to see your power!!!
I don’t want to live a natural life, I am sick of it! Show me your power! Are you still with me? Show me you are still with me, that you have not forgotten me! Please! Show them your power; show them what you can do! Show yourself to those who are lost and angry. I have seen your power, please show them!
Father please use me! Use my life! I am drowning in the mundane things, and all I want is to see your power become real in the natural life. Give me a voice! Use me or take me with you because I find no pleasure, there’s no purpose for me here at all. Nothing satisfies me! I don’t want to be here if you are not using me.
I am nothing and I have nothing if you are not in me. I am nothing! Nothing! I am sooooo empty! Soooo empty, Lord. I need you! I want you! Only you! I want nothing outside of you; even my desires, they belong to you. I am nothing!
Please use me! I am young. I am a woman. You have given me beauty and intelligence; use it to your glory, take glory in me! I am so desperate for you! I am so desperate to be used by you! Now I’m desperate! Showcase yourself in me, through me! You created me for this. You knighted me in my mother’s womb to perfection. I am your princess. You love me. You have sealed me with your Spirit. You know me. You marked me forever and I am yours. I was born for such a time as this. If not now, then when? Yours is the power.
My life is in your hands. Do what you want! I will climb the highest mountains as long as you are with me. Do not depart from me Spirit of God. Let your fire burn in me. You promised! You came to me and you gave me a promise. I am here to reclaim it. It belongs to me! I want my promise Lord! I’m ready to do what you called me to do. This time I will not allow distractions in my heart, my eyes are on Christ. So Please, open doors to the North, South, East and to the West; in your powerful name Savior of the world. I believe you will do this. I believe in you Christ Jesus!”