I think we can all agree that 2020 has not been what we had planned for. It sure has not for me. First, the pandemic disrupted my life, as was yours; and then, I ended up in the hospital for seven days (not covid related) in airborne isolation.
I shared on New Year’s Eve 2019 about my health scare that began May 2019, you can read about it here.
This year, my condition worsen. The nodules they found last year in my lungs got bigger and now had wholes (which doctors said it’s not normal). I had more than 7 specialist treating me and ordering blood tests, CT scans, biopsies, Eco-grams, monitoring my heart, doses of medication, ultrasounds, etc, etc (side note: the medication they gave me for the CT scan made me so sick I threw up for what felt like hours).
One of my doctors said they didn’t want to discharge me until they had a diagnosis, “It’s not fair, its been a year and we still don’t know what we are dealing with,” also, with the pandemic it would take twice as long to schedule exams; and whatever those nodules were had been causing severe pain that did not allow me to breath.
I share this to say the following: as soon as I realized my stay in the hospital was going to be long, I made a sweet invitation to all of the people I know love and care about me. I texted my family, friends, and colleagues, all of my church community, my mentors, and even some romantic possibles letting them know I was in the hospital and I requested specific prayers and love.
Yes! I requested love from them, which was the most beautiful thing I could have asked for. The messages came flooding in. The love that God pored on me through people was the most nurturing, most live giving experience; so much so that being in the hospital became the most adventurous, the most playful time of this season.
I must admit that my default is to reject love from others especially in moments of weakness. I never want to be perceived as needy, helpless, or weak because I am prideful. However, I believe the Holy Spirit used this moment to teach me how to invite people into my process when I am the most in need of love. He taught me humility and how to partner up with love.
All of the people I contacted reached back to me with a measure of love they are able to give. Not everyone has the capacity to give love in the same measures. Not all can meet your expectations of what demonstrated love should look like. But God taught me to focus on the measure that they are able to give, thus I received every measure, and I was full and satisfied by love.
The love that everyone pored on me was the best medication I could have received. I am so glad I was bold to invite everyone into my process, while creating space allowing them to partner up with me in love.
My Doctors with God’s provision through lots of prayer reached a diagnosis. I am currently doing well. I can share about it on another post.