Faith Over Fear in a World of Sexual Sin

One of my favorite mentors Spencer Robbins said to me, “I’ve found that 98% of men I’ve met, deal or have dealt with sexual struggles- specifically porn and masturbating. The rare breeds are the ones that run after breaking free from shame and are willing to do whatever it takes to get free from those behaviors and connect with love.”

Haven been sexually abused as a child I always run away from potential relationships when I notice or when the guy tells me of his sexual struggles. This is the biggest trigger for me. I am not willing to stay and even discuss their sexual issues because I feel that’s not my cross to bear. I am not their savior and I am not going to put myself through emotional pain of such while I’m still healing from childhood pain.

I must say however that the following thoughts are very present with me and the Holy Spirit has not yet given me clarity:

I used to think that God would bring me a man who is completely free from sexual struggles and emotional pain, now I see that’s not true. Everyone has some type of pain that needs to be dealt with.

So, when or how will I know when to stay and go through the pain with someone?

How do I choose the type of struggles I am willing to walk into? 

Why can’t I just have a super healthy man in all areas? Is that even real?

These are important questions to answer because choosing my future husband depends on my responses to these. However, the numbers above are paralyzing and immediately lead me into fear thinking that only 2 percent of men are sexually healthy. The word “rare” frightens me because it says that its nearly impossible that men who are struggling with sexual sins will ever become free; which then leads me to believe there is no one out there I can trust in this area.

But, as Spencer recently said, “Faith and fear both say that something is going to happen that hasn’t happened yet,” and so we choose to believe on one over the other.

Well, I choose faith! I choose to believe on the 2 percent of men who are sexually healthy and on the “rare breads” that break free from sexual sins.

Spencer and Sammi Robbins are developers of Alive and Free an amazing program designed to restore women to emotional wholeness from the roots. Check them out at

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