Can You Perceive What God Has Begun to Do?

I find myself here, now, attuned to the present. I am trying to create new memories, memories that will one day bring me joy. I am done thinking about past pain. As I live in the present, I find that the chaos of the world has not affected my mental status; all because my mind is focused on God, my dreams, and the goodness that is present now.  I know that there is a temptation to live in the past–whether good or bad–especially because this season has been hard. I once had such an amazing experience! So much so that when it ended I tried so hard to replicate those three […]

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Like the Demanding Reach of the Peaking Pines

My entire life I’ve felt inadequate and powerless, which led me to comparison. These have touched on my most basic need of worth and safety. I want my worth to be noticed. I want my worth to be appreciated. I want my worth to be celebrated. I want stability. I want to have inner and outer peace. Inadequacy has told me I am not beautiful enough, or smart enough, or loved enough. Or that I’m not lovable. Powerlessness has told me that everything evil will overpower or that I will always be in a dark hole. These have led me to break friendships with amazing people because I unconsciously felt […]

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Masculinity Can Heal a Woman’s Heart

Today (April 24, 2020), for class I had to counsel a peer (in this class I was the only female all semester long, which I believe was God’s way of bringing healing to my heart concerning masculinity). For those of you who don’t know, counseling classes are usually packed with women, not men. So this was such a GOD thing! 😜 In counseling him, he opened up a section of his heart I don’t believe he does with many. He shared a poem with me that he wrote about an encounter he had with Jesus as an infant. God cuddled him and breathe life to him as he was dying. […]

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A Mother-Daughter Encounter

I sat next to my mom in the kitchen table. Afraid of her response I timidly asked her, “Can I share something with you?”   Perhaps she had been waiting to hear from me about my life since I was thirteen years old when I began to build thick high mountains between her and me. She immediately said, “Yes. Tell me. I’m all ears,” to which I felt a door had opened wide open.   I said, “I was listening to a preaching on sin and two of my sins were revealed to me. I. Need to honor you as my mom. But. I don’t know how to do that. […]

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Divine Desires (Part One)

My biggest desire since I was eighteen years old was to know God. I wanted to experientially know (ginosko) God. An overwhelming desire came upon me to intimately and personally know the father. I craved Him. I yearned for His love. Thus for a whole year I cut ties from the outer world. I’d get home from work and I’d indulge myself in scripture from 6:30pm until I’d fall asleep. I’d spend countless hours in my bedroom while my eyes were clued to bible pages. This thick, incomparable God jumped out of the pages and into my soul. He surrounded me. I would work 9am to 6pm, and every waking second of […]

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