Living with PTSD

I used to be afraid of the night falls and the darkness of my bedroom. I used to ask the Lord, “Don’t make night come tonight, don’t let me fall asleep,” but when the night did come I turned on my lamps and I read my Bible until I would fall asleep. I’d wake up in the middle of the night with horrifying images on my mind. I once dreamed about a bloody demon devouring a child with his sharp teeth. There was tender flesh dripping from his mouth and he laughed endlessly. The background screams of people in agonizing pain were chilling. Military death scenes seem less frightening than these dreams. I’d cry for […]

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I’m Here

These demons taunt me every night and I often cannot sleep well. But, I’m here. I sin against you with my thoughts and I don’t always agree with you. But, I’m here. I’m repeatedly wrong, very, very wrong. But, I’m here. I’m a very emotional being and I regularly make so many mistakes, so many. But, I’m here. I say the wrong things, my tongue speeds to speak evil. But, I’m here. I see the faces of those I offend with my boldness (which numerous times isn’t wise). But, I’m here. I have idols in my heart. I often want to stray away from you when the world seems appetizing […]

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Jesus is the Wise Man

Advent is a time to prepare for Christ’s coming. There are many gospels that talks about how we must be ready to welcome Jesus into our hearts. There is one gospel that particularly sticks out to me. Jesus says,”…I will liken unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock: And the rain descended, & the floods came, & the winds blew, & beat upon that house; and it fell not:for it was founded upon a rock…” (Matthew 7:21-29)   This language is figurative in the sense that the rock is meant to stand for God. We have to build a solid foundation, relationship, with God. This relationship consists […]

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