Smile at Me

Seven years gone with the wind. Seven years gone like the wind. You made them dissipate. They dissipated with your smile. Something ignited within me the Spring night I walked pass by you. You smiled at me, but I kept walking. I did not smile back, I must have been asleep. I think your smile woke me up. I had a dream last night: The atmosphere witnessed our desperate love. We both clung onto each other, a moment spend away from one another was treacherous. I woke up. I handed the dream over to the Lord. I gave you over to the Lord. I asked Him to do His will and admonished Him, […]

Continue reading »

You are Perfect in Every Way

“Worthless. Worthless! Worthless!! Worthless!!! Worthless!!!! Worthless!!!!!” A tempest of tears stream from my eyes down to my hoodie. I can’t make since of the perfection he listed with such detail: “You are perfect in every way. I love everything about you; the way you think, the way you carry yourself. You are confident and beautiful inside and out. I love your heart, the way you love God, you are obedient to Him and you have compassion for people. I love your smile and your dimples. I love the powerful woman you have become and you’re only going to get better. Damn. You are perfect in every way. You live a […]

Continue reading »

I Imagine You

It enters my mind like a sweet gentle breeze; the instrumental music that moves my soul. I close my eyes and listen carefully to the vibrations of the compositions: Song from a Secret Garden, Moon Light Sonata, Love Story and many more. I imagine you. You approach me with caution. You seem unsure of my reaction. If you only knew. I have always been here, waiting. You can come. Approach me and dance with me this sweet melody. If you extend your hand to me in gentleness and sure pursuit of me, I will respond with grace and a smile (the sweet smile you love so much, on my face […]

Continue reading »

God Loves Me for Me

this, that, This, That, THIS, THAT!!! AHHH!!! It’s 1:00 am and I have so many infectious thoughts burning through my brain. I can’t handle them! I hug my white fluffy pillow with all my might as I curl myself up on my bed. I pretend it’s the God of heavens who comforts me. I beg, “Abba, take this away, I don’t want it. I want to be like you, but I am filled with doubt, jealousy, and mistrust, and I do not feel worthy. I am so unworthy!” I scream from the depths of this agony. I need my Lord to rescue me from myself. I hope to feel His presence. But […]

Continue reading »

But, You

Jesus! I know You care. You love me. I look to You. What am I supposed to do with these emotions? I don’t know what to do with these thoughts and my desires! I used to wonder, “Why should I desire anything at all if I will never be able to have it? Why give life to those who wonder aimlessly?” Recently, it does not matter anymore. I’ve held onto my life for far too long. I surrender, my life is better off in Your hands. Holy Spirit You are the power. You give the fire and I am the temple. Every desire compared to You is nothing! My passion […]

Continue reading »

I’m Here

These demons taunt me every night and I often cannot sleep well. But, I’m here. I sin against you with my thoughts and I don’t always agree with you. But, I’m here. I’m repeatedly wrong, very, very wrong. But, I’m here. I’m a very emotional being and I regularly make so many mistakes, so many. But, I’m here. I say the wrong things, my tongue speeds to speak evil. But, I’m here. I see the faces of those I offend with my boldness (which numerous times isn’t wise). But, I’m here. I have idols in my heart. I often want to stray away from you when the world seems appetizing […]

Continue reading »

Edgar Misterio’s Return to Christ: Our Conversation

It’s Nov. 1st, 2017; 10:41 AM, I wish Edgar Misterio a Happy Birthday: Hey! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! He replies: ☺ Thanks Ana. To which I respond with an aching heart knowing that he has always been a leader but is not serving God. Not knowing what the Holy Spirit is about to cause through me, I tell him: No problem. I think you have a calling from God to serve Him. Why don’t you? I expect him to reply right away maybe with disbelief, but he doesn’t.

Continue reading »

Become Enough!

Right now God is not enough. He has always been more than enough. But, lately He has not been enough. At times He is. And I have been praying and literally crying out to Him to fill me with His presence and to guide me and to help me trust Him; but, most of the time I just don’t. Often I wonder if He’s even real. Or if He hears me. I feel forgotten by Him. The Christian life feels so surreal. I used to have a childlike faith. I miss it. I am constantly gasping for air. There’s always a pressure in the middle of my chest. I find […]

Continue reading »

A Moment with The Girls of the Spa

Sometimes things aren’t what they seem. We often think that a woman who is being trafficked for sex constantly experiences physical abuse. And although I am positive an element of violence is present in all forms of sexual abuse, when I am in the presence of the women working to serve the Johns in their spa, I witness affection that confuses me. It seems to me that these particular Johns—their sex clients of today—are VIP clients because of the way the ladies treat them, in a very familiar manner. I can observe them hug these men as they welcome them into the spa. They spend about five minutes making them […]

Continue reading »

If I Were Him

If I were him I would acknowledge God as my Lord and then I would become a man of honor. If I were him I would become brave by allowing myself to fall in love. If I were him I would strengthen my heart in God in order to fight for her. I would climb high mountains just to touch her essence. If I were him I would swim across wide oceans to show her that I am worthy of her. If I were him I would conquer her heart by giving her my undivided attention. I’d look into her soul. I’d know her deepest thoughts. If I were him […]

Continue reading »
1 2 3 4