A Mother-Daughter Encounter

I sat next to my mom in the kitchen table. Afraid of her response I timidly asked her, “Can I share something with you?”   Perhaps she had been waiting to hear from me about my life since I was thirteen years old when I began to build thick high mountains between her and me. She immediately said, “Yes. Tell me. I’m all ears,” to which I felt a door had opened wide open.   I said, “I was listening to a preaching on sin and two of my sins were revealed to me. I. Need to honor you as my mom. But. I don’t know how to do that. […]

Continue reading »

I’m Grateful Part Three: God’s Incomparable Merciful Love

While at my stay in the hospital I re-learned that the “Work” was done by Jesus. All we get to do is rest in His love and presence. That’s our worship; that we love him back, that we trust Him, that we rest in Him because we love and trust His character and His word. Isn’t that so peaceful and beautiful! It’s like we are in the middle of the storm relaxing and He is doing all the fighting for us, He does all the warring for us. We don’t do a thing. We just get to rest. What a powerful God we have that He takes on the load […]

Continue reading »

I’m Grateful Part Two: Partnering Up with Love

I think we can all agree that 2020 has not been what we had planned for. It sure has not for me. First, the pandemic disrupted my life, as was yours; and then, I ended up in the hospital for seven days (not covid related) in airborne isolation. I shared on New Year’s Eve 2019 about my health scare that began May 2019, you can read about it here. This year, my condition worsen. The nodules they found last year in my lungs got bigger and now had wholes (which doctors said it’s not normal). I had more than 7 specialist treating me and ordering blood tests, CT scans, biopsies, […]

Continue reading »

My 2019 Analysis: I’m Grateful

I made a story of my 2019 memories to share on my social media platforms, through that I realized that I have grown so much this year and that there is so much growth I still want to do. Even though my social media story does not show the sad moments, the moments when I made mistakes, nor the moments of fear; the moments when I cried to God for help or forgiveness and restoration, those are the moments that propelled the good ones. I had a serious health scare this year, I was rushed to the ER because I could not breath and my chest was in extreme pain. […]

Continue reading »

The Lord Speaks to Him

When my son was done readying scripture we discussed his study on Proverbs 1-10, it went something like this: Me: What resonated with you from your study? Nico: Ummm, I don’t know, but it’s all good stuff. Me: Ok, but what jumped out? Something grabbed your heart. Nico: That, pretty much, to value the instruction of your father and mother. So, in my case, YOU. That, it’s good to stay away from the seductive woman. And…..hold on, let me read it: ‘For wisdom is more profitable than silver, and her wages are better than gold. Wisdom is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her.’ Pro. 3:14-15 […]

Continue reading »

Motherhood Dilemmas

Lately, I have been freaking out about my parenting skills and how my short comings could potentially affect the future of my son. I have also been fearing the culture and how it influences my six-teen year old son. I’ve deeply been pondering about the should’s: I should have loved him more. I should have spend more time teaching my son about Scripture. I should have invested more time with my son doing things he loves to do. I should have never talked to my son in a diminishing nature along the way. I should have encouraged him more. I should have given him more materialistic things. I should have […]

Continue reading »

Faith Over Fear in a World of Sexual Sin

One of my favorite mentors Spencer Robbins said to me, “I’ve found that 98% of men I’ve met, deal or have dealt with sexual struggles- specifically porn and masturbating. The rare breeds are the ones that run after breaking free from shame and are willing to do whatever it takes to get free from those behaviors and connect with love.” Haven been sexually abused as a child I always run away from potential relationships when I notice or when the guy tells me of his sexual struggles. This is the biggest trigger for me. I am not willing to stay and even discuss their sexual issues because I feel that’s […]

Continue reading »

I Know You Immensely

My son I know that you are about to become a full man and you have never known the love of a father. You have never known true and unconditional affection from a godly man. I know that this has affected your identity and your view of God in ways you cannot yet articulate. This is what stings me. This is the one thing that I cannot fix for you. I need you to understand how immensely I know you and how profoundly I see your heart. Allow me to tell you what I see in your heart: I don’t know if my mother loves me enough. Why did she have […]

Continue reading »

Absolution of My Heart

I stare at the pond outside of my window. The water moves with ease, it seems to be enchanted by mellow winds. My eyes capture the dancing movements of the tall pines surrounding the pond. I think to myself, “I wish I was the movement the wind produces in nature.” I sit on the comfort of my white cotton bed sheets as I ponder, “Where is this coming from? What is the need of my heart?” And then this thought comes in, “I want to have a light heart.” I smile because this thought gives me so much pleasure. I enter in dialog with God. He whispers, “The old is […]

Continue reading »

The Romanian-Persian Prince

I didn’t notice I absorbed all of his pain. His heart became mine and I grieved. I grieved over his suffering, but he did not take notice. He did not care. How could he? He has been numb for far too long. He was incapable of noticing how I grieved over his broken heart; his paralyzed heart did not allow him too. He admitted once that he was broken, but he could not pinpoint the origin of his suffering. I could. Not only did I know its origin, but I, I merged with it. I know the burning fire that comes from being rapped. I took it upon my shoulders […]

Continue reading »
1 2 3 4